Not Everything is Better With Jell-o

In the 1950's Americans were so concerned with the threat of nuclear war that they saw fit to make even the food blast proof.  Jell-o answered the call and millions of housewives soon learned to encase their food in a Jell-o forcefield capable of withstanding the most punishing nuclear blasts.  Husbands soon tired of the Jell-o mania and started throwing the gelatinous concoctions out of house windows giving rise to a new UFO hysteria as innocent bystanders witnessed the unidentified flying dinners soaring across the sky.  By the early 1960's the Jell-o mania had subsided in favor of real dinners that did not need to be incarcerated in ground up hooves.

Bald Noggins Nixed

Over the years there have been many wacky contraptions invented to combat hair loss but this one has to take the cake.  I'm not sure if its a salon hair dryer, baldness repairer or the electric chair from Sing-Sing but whatever the case it certainly looks painful.  The ad details it as a vacuum hair restorer so I suppose the scientists that invented it felt we all had playdough for hair and to combat baldness one only had to suck out some more with a contraption that looks like a Flash Gordon Thought Amplifier.  Yeah that's the ticket, while sucking out those new hair follicles you can pretend to be flying to Arboria and a secret mission in your fight against Emperor Ming.

A Bacchanalia of Bacchus

Sometimes I think that my friend Lidian over at Kitchen Retro and I are in a contest for who can find the the most ridiculous piece of Vintage Advertising.  Here's one specifically for you Lidian, Bacchus Cologne from 1970.  Yes it's the secret weapon of the Roman army, by smelling like a French Whorehouse Rome was able to cower their enemies into submission with an olfactory assault that apparently brought on an orgasmic orgy of whore bathing in cheap cologne.  Men were apoplectic with joy as they doused themselves with a chemtastic chemical concoction and upon smelling the waft in the air women were overcome with sexual energy that led to an excessive amount of carnal frivolity.  Whilst the denizens of the town were reveling in wanton caresses, the Roman army was able to move in and capture the ramparts thus ending the siege... Roma Victor!